Infidelity / Extra- Marital Affair
Infidelity also known as extra marital affair is one of the most devastating experiences for the one who got cheated on. It is not just difficult, it seems impossible to overcome the agony and betrayal. The basic fundamental of a love relationship or marriage is ‘you are the only one for someone’ and with infidelity you know you are not the only one.It hurts much longer than one can imagine, sometimes it’s one of those experiences that haunts for lifetime.
If you are cheated on, on one side you want to hurt them back, punish them for the sin, yell at them, ask them every details about the affair, even the most uncomfortable sexual intercourse details, insult them, cheat them back so that they realize how it feels.On the other hand you want to cry, hug them, ask them what went wrong, why did you do that, did you ever love me, how could you do this to me, to us but only to realize nothing help. No matter what you do it doesn’t stop hurting.Leaving the cheating partner hurts, staying with them hurts, seeing them in front of your eyes hurts, not seeing them leaves you anxious about are they with someone else, whatever you do it hurts beyond repair.
Infidelity has a shattering impact on couples.Apart from death nothing else carried such a devastating effect.The cheated partner starts doubting everything, doubting the life lived with the person so far, starts questioning am I not good enough, was my love not enough, is he or she better than me, as I not young , sexy, loving, worthy enough that my partner had to look somewhere else, where did I go wrong, where did I miss out… it leads them to a downward spiral or self-doubt, doubting the partner, frustration, inexplicable anger, confusion, indecisiveness, uncontrollable panic, numbness, the insane combination of emotions that they go through cannot be explained neither can be understood.
I have seen most confident people crumbling down to someone who is not sure of anything in life anymore, I have seen most loving and giving people turning to someone who can never trust again.I just want to tell you it’s not your fault, Infidelity is a choice one makes and cannot be justifies at any cost.
Infidelity means being emotionally and or physically involved with someone other than your partner. Often people ask me, is sharing all your feelings with someone is infidelity? Is being emotionally dependent on someone infidelity? Is kissing infidelity? Is holding hands or hugging infidelity? My answer is “You know when you crossed the line”. You cross the line in your mind first, and then you act on it.Of course you know it’s not right but still you take the chance!!!
May be you can’t stay away from the excitement, attention, attraction, the teenager feeling, the tension…You decided to act and hoped that you never get caught.
What one person considers infidelity, someone else may not.When you make something else or someone else more important than your partner, so much so that you are no longer invested in your partner or your partner starts feeling insignificant in your life, it’s infidelity.Be it one night stand,office fling, a massage with happy endings, sexting, of course social media chats, so called friendship that extends to video chats at wee hours, watching porn…
Many believe must be,there was something missing in the marriage, something partner was failing to give enough of that led to the infidelity, that’s not true.The fact that a couple has “issues” doesn’t mean that those issues led to the affair.When something is not working in your current relationship, it’s time to work on the relationship not have an extra marital affair.
People have affair because they have low self-esteem, or they
have seen extra marital affairs while growing up and they feel its normal to have such flings,even due to prolonged financial issues, not able to deal with failures in business or career, can’t handle spouse’s success and growth, sex addiction, porn addiction, to avoid dealing with parent-spouse relationship issues, depression, ego boost, or feeling of entitlement, giving in to temptation or seduction, easy availability on internet or mere just time pass.People having poor boundaries, not knowing where to stop flirting, or a weak moment, or low controls because of alcohol or drugs give in to infidelity easily.
Affairs have a lot to teach us about marriage.Relationship Coach can help you build an affair proof marriage.
Affairs have a lot to teach us about marriage. The longer an affair lasts, the greater its impact may be. It’s important to handle it as soon as possible. An extramarital affair need not be end of the marriage, what’s required is to understand that it’s human to give in to temptations and it needs a bigger human to forgive, forget and rebuild the marriage. Infidelity does not always occur due to lack of satisfaction. A partner may enter an affair based on personal preferences. Human beings have a tendency to look for the truth in the places where it is easiest to search rather than the places where it’s likely to be. It’s easier to blame the marriage then taking responsibility of the affair. While falling in for affair people forget The constraints they are defying are also the commitments they cherish.90% of the people who cheat never want to break their marriage but once they have cheated, they don’t know how to step back, how to face their partner, how to get over the guilt…they need acceptance and understanding to get back. It’s difficult for the cheated partner to trust again but believe me it’s worth every bit of your trust!
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